Reconciliation

What you need to know about Confession
When you come to confession, you have to know what you have done wrong. You have to know what it is that you regret, and what you want to improve. That is why a good confession must always begin with a good examination of conscience.

When receiving the sacrament of penance, one must confess all mortal (grave) sins committed since the last confession. If someone has concealed such a sin beforehand, it is necessary to inform the confessor about it. These sins, in fact, destroy our friendship with God and in normal circumstances cannot be forgiven except through sacramental confession. Mortal sin is committed by man when he transgresses God's law in a serious matter (grave matter), fully consciously and completely voluntarily. The serious matter of action is determined by God's commandments. Violation of any of the commandments in an important matter is treated as a grave sin.

A grave sin can only be committed by a person who knows that he is doing wrong. However, ignorance and hardness of heart are no excuse in this matter. If someone cares little for the knowledge of the Church's teaching, or even opposes it, he is not exempt from grave moral guilt. In order for an act to be considered a mortal sin, it must also be a fully human act, the result of a free choice. External or internal coercion reduces moral responsibility. However, it is worth not deciding on these issues on your own but asking your confessor. The same should be done when we have doubts about the substance of the act committed.

We are dealing with venial sins "when the norm of the moral law is not observed in light matter, or when the moral law is not observed in grave matter, but without full knowledge or complete consent" (CCC 1862). It is not necessary to confess them in the confessional, but it is worth doing so, because it gives the confessor a fuller picture of us. It may also be that he will be able to clear up our misconceptions about the seriousness of sin. Under no circumstances should venial sins be underestimated. First of all, because they are evil. A lesser one, but an evil. Therefore, the Christian must not accept them. A particularly great misunderstanding is to calculate before an act whether a given evil can be committed (when it is a venial sin) or not (when it is a grave sin). Even light sins weaken our relationship with God and dull our conscience. Traditionally, we speak of five conditions for a good confession. These are:

1. Examination of conscience
2. Repentance
3. A Firm Resolve to Improve
4. Confession of sins
5. Reparation

It is good to precede the examination of conscience with a prayer to the Holy Spirit. Then you have to reflect and remember all the sins with which you have been offended since your last confession. Above all, it is about grave sins. One of the ready-made examinations of conscience can be helpful in this.

Contrition for sins is, as the catechism defines it, "the pain of the soul and hatred of the sin committed, with the determination not to sin in the future."

A strong resolve to improve comes from regret. It is a confirmation of its truthfulness. It is also good to make a very specific resolution about what sin we would like to eliminate in particular.                     
                                                                                                          
Sincere confession  You pronounce all the grave and light sins that you remember.

Restitution consists of reparation for the damage caused. So, it does not necessarily end with leaving the place of prayer. It is also necessary to recite the requested penance (or to carry it out). It is also fitting to thank God for the grace of forgiveness.